Must-play songs
The tracks you would genuinely notice were missing from the night.
Music planning · Must-plays · Requests
What Music Should You Send Your DJ Before a Party?
Send the choices that define your party, not a minute-by-minute running order. A clear brief gives the DJ direction while leaving room to respond to your guests.
The direct answer
Essential
Direction
Boundaries
Send priorities, boundaries and key moments—not every song in order.
Before a party, your DJ needs to understand what matters to you. That normally means the songs that must happen, the music that best represents your taste, anything that should be avoided, and any tracks connected to a specific moment.
The useful brief is not necessarily the longest one. A list of hundreds of unlabelled songs can hide the choices that really matter. A shorter, organised brief makes it clear what is essential and where the DJ can adapt around the guests in the room.
Artists, eras and styles
Examples that show the sound of your party without fixing every transition.
Do-not-plays and requests
Clear limits that protect the host’s preferences when guests start asking.
1. The songs that must happen
Keep the must-play list genuinely compulsory.
A must-play is not simply a song you like. It is a track connected to the person, the occasion or a memory that makes it part of the event. These are the choices the DJ should be able to identify immediately.
Useful reasons to mark a track as essential
- It is the guest of honour’s favourite song.
- It brings together a particular group of friends or relatives.
- It is linked to a birthday, anniversary or shared memory.
- It has been chosen for an entrance, cake cutting or final song.
- The host specifically wants to hear it during the main part of the party.
2. The sound of your party
Show the direction with examples, not vague labels.
“A bit of everything” sounds flexible, but it tells a DJ very little. Two people can use that phrase while imagining completely different nights. One may mean 1980s pop, Motown and current chart music; another may mean house, garage and drum and bass.
Give a few artists, songs, decades or styles that represent what you actually enjoy. It is also useful to say which part of that music matters most: familiar singalongs, heavier club tracks, nostalgic favourites or a relaxed start that builds later.
ArtistsName the acts that immediately sound like your party.
DecadesBe specific about whether an era is central or only occasional.
GenresExplain the side of a broad genre you prefer where possible.
EnergySay whether you want an immediate party or a gradual build.
Better than “anything”
Give the DJ contrasts they can understand.
For example: “We like 1990s and 2000s dance music, current pop and a few indie singalongs. Please keep novelty party songs to a minimum.” That brief is far more useful than an enormous playlist with no explanation.
3. Music to avoid
A do-not-play list can be as important as the favourites.
There may be a song that carries the wrong memory, an artist the guest of honour dislikes, or a style that simply does not belong at your event. Tell the DJ before the party rather than hoping it never appears in a request.
Specific exclusions are easiest to protect
List the exact song, artist or clearly defined style. You do not need to justify a personal choice, but a short explanation can help when the restriction is broader.
“No song X because it is linked to a previous relationship” is clear. “No old music” is harder to interpret when different guests define old music differently.
Decide whose preference takes priority
At birthdays, anniversaries and private parties, guests may confidently request music the host has already ruled out.
A clear do-not-play list allows the DJ to handle that moment without making the organiser explain the decision during the event.
4. Songs tied to the timetable
Name the exact track and the exact moment.
Some music is not part of the general set. It has a job to do at a particular point in the event. These choices need more detail than an ordinary request because the wrong version or an unclear cue can spoil the moment.
Entrances and introductions
Confirm who is entering, the track, the version and who will give the DJ the signal.
Cake cutting or birthday presentation
Say whether the song should begin before the announcement, underneath it or immediately afterwards.
The final song
Choose whether it is a fixed track or a preferred option that can change if the room is moving in a different direction.
5. Guest requests
Tell the DJ how open the night should be.
Requests are easier to manage when the organiser’s preference is known in advance. You may want guests to feel involved, but that does not mean every request should interrupt the direction of the night.
A request can be considered against the must-plays, do-not-plays, age range, occasion and what is already working. The useful decision is not simply “requests allowed: yes or no.” It is how much influence guests should have over the host’s party.
Open to requests
Guests can suggest music, with the DJ deciding when and whether each choice fits.
Requests within the brief
Suggestions are welcome when they match the agreed styles and avoid excluded music.
Host choices only
The DJ follows the organiser’s plan without taking general requests from guests.
Sending a Spotify playlist
Use the playlist to explain your taste, then label what it means.
A Spotify playlist is useful because it shows real examples. The problem begins when one list is expected to mean several different things at once. The DJ cannot tell whether every track is compulsory, whether the order matters or whether the list is simply a collection of ideas unless you say so.
Must-plays
A clearly labelled short list of the songs that need to be included.
Music we like
A wider reference playlist showing artists, decades and styles that suit you.
Do not play
A written list is usually clearest here, especially when the exclusions are specific.
The order of a reference playlist does not need to become the order of the party. A song that looks right on paper may work better earlier, later or not at all depending on the room.
Read: DJ or Spotify Playlist?
What not to send
Avoid a brief that hides the important decisions.
An unexplained list of hundreds of songs
The DJ cannot see which ten tracks matter most if every choice appears equal.
A fixed minute-by-minute order
Party timings move, guests arrive late and the dancefloor may respond differently from expected.
Several conflicting lists
Agree one organiser or final decision-maker before different guests send competing instructions.
Last-minute changes with no context
Say whether a new song replaces an earlier choice or is simply another possible option.
Aidy Smith music brief
The plan should be clear enough to protect your choices and flexible enough to serve the room.
For an Aidy Smith party booking, we can agree the must-plays, music direction, do-not-plays, key timings and approach to guest requests before the event. Those decisions form the brief for the night.
I then use that brief while watching how the guests respond. Your priorities stay at the centre, but the wider set can move between ages, styles and energy levels rather than following a list that was fixed before anybody entered the room.
That balance is the aim: the party should sound like yours without making you manage every song yourself.
Common questions
Sending music to your DJ before a party.
How many must-play songs should I send?
Keep the list short enough for every track to remain genuinely essential. Put the wider selection of music you like in a separate reference playlist.
Can I send a Spotify playlist?
Yes. Label which songs are must-plays and which simply demonstrate your taste. The playlist does not need to become a fixed running order.
Should I include songs I dislike?
Include a focused do-not-play list when particular songs, artists or styles would be wrong for the host or occasion.
Can guests still request music?
Yes, if that is the approach you want. Requests can be considered within the agreed brief rather than automatically overriding it.